On Rape Culture, Part I

There is a term you may have heard before that is often used by feminists (or at least some groups thereof) to describe the climate in which we live. It is a far reaching term, with many implications, some tangible, many not. It is a term and idea that embodies a huge percentage of women's issues, especially those concerning problems with sexuality in our culture.

This term is 2 girls 1 cup.

Not really.

This term is "rape culture". We live in a rape culture, many argue. What does this mean? Well, it means a whole lot of things, and it's difficult to explain quickly. For a quick rundown of a huge number of examples, this article is pretty Goddamned good, and I would seriously recommend reading at least a few paragraphs. For those of you who won't, however, I'll do my best to give a rough idea. Rape culture is, essentially, the notion that we live in a culture that at the very least trivializes rape, and at worst encourages it. This is a big claim, but it is one people are perfectly willing to back up. Again, this article provides over 50 examples of what the term encompasses. Some of the things I hear most often are things like the fact that 1 in 6 women in the United States will be sexually assaulted in their lifetime, and there is a large chance that statistic is undershooting. Also hugely important is how often sex and violence are conflated in the media. One doesn't need to look far to find ads like this, this or these. Another huge one is victim blaming. That is, thinking that a rape is ever anyone's fault other than the rapist. This can be as obvious as people who say something like "She was asking for it, look what she wears.", to much more common things like "Well she got drunk and went home with him, what did she think was going to happen at his place?" Other examples are the narrative that rapists are these dirty ugly men in trenchcoats who hide behind bushes, waiting to attack a stranger. Part of the rape culture is the lack of widespread information about what actually constitutes rape. More than any one of these things is the fact that still nothing seems to change in this regard. It is difficult to argue that it is anything less than a rape culture that allows a 15 year-old girl to be gang raped outside her high school in front of 15 bystanders with no one calling the police.

There were two things that got me thinking about this recently (before the Richmond tragedy). The first was this article, entitled Schrödinger's rapist. It's all about how men should be extremely careful in approaching a woman in public, and to pay close attention to and respect all signs that she may not want to talk. This isn't simply telling you not to hit on women wearing headphones. This is saying, do not smile and say hello to women that seem closed off. Now, this article immediately upset me. I am, I like to think, a nice guy. I see people, I smile at them, and occasionally make small talk. When I see a strange woman walking by and I smile, and she gives me a look like I'd just asked if she'd like to fuck in a bush, I always get indignant. It can sometimes ruin my mood entirely. I'm a good guy, and don't want to hurt people, and I get offended when women think otherwise. Schrödinger's rapist helped me realize something, though. There are people who want to hurt people. While I know this, of course, it's not something I think about regularly. Sure, occasionally I'll walk a little quicker if I get to a particularly dimly lit street walking alone in the middle of the night. This is by no means what I'm talking about. It's something a lot deeper.

Pictured: Schrödinger's cat. Not pictured: Schrödinger's rapist. You're welcome.

The second was the same day I read that article. In my gender studies class that I went to directly after reading that article, we had a guest lecturer. At one point, she asked the class (of around 150, probably 130 of whom are women) what precautions they take to avoid being sexually assaulted. Scores of hands shot up. Everyone answered, but no piece of advice was repeated. These women all had a huge number of different things they did to avoid harm. I knew this was something that women occasionally had to think about, but these two things really let it sink into my mind. These are constant worries for women. Many women don't leave the house without thinking about some of these things, and certainly women who have been sexually assaulted in the house never do. This is something that shocked and depressed me immediately, and is still difficult to truly take in. As a man, I can never truly know what it's like being so conscious of the threat posed by the other sex all the time. However, I can try and be more understanding when women are worried about it, and when I'm in a situation that could be potentially threatening to a woman to tread lightly.

But this is a solution that leaves much to be desired. Obviously just making women feel slightly less scared some of the time is not a solution at all. What are some of the causes of this, and what can we do to fight it? It's certainly not a cure-all, but there's a perspective I found that helped illuminate what may cause a lot of these problems. Stay tuned for Part II.

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